Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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