no, he came in my armpit
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
