Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Sorry my hands just texted you
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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