I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
