That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
