I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
