we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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