I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
