am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
