I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
