just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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