Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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