who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
