I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
