I am spending my child support on dildos
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
