Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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