apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Too much gin, very little bucket
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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