we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
