Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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