This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
My vagina just recognized that song.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
