just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You took a bar mat shot.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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