I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
