My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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