I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
