I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
