We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
