Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
