My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Alive.
So much puke
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Randomize
