Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
i now understand why vodka
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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