Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
that may or may not have been my penis.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
