So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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