five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Acid is not a monday night drug
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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