my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
