Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you mean i was at the winter classic?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
