PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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