the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
