I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
