Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
