We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
