he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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