I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
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