yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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