Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Less talking, more tequila
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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