It's Friday. Sex?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
