My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
