Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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