I must be too annoying 4 u.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
