haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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