dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
