he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
