Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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