On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
