how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
